How I Got Bitten By An Orca

You ever have one of those moments where you look at your life and think, “How did I get here?” Well, mine involves a lighthouse, a desolate island, and a pod of orcas that may or may not have been studying me as much as I was studying them.

This isn’t some childhood obsession. I didn’t grow up dreaming of marine biology. In fact, I didn’t think about orcas at all until my mid-20s. But then life happened—badly—and suddenly, I found myself living on an island in the middle of nowhere with nothing but time, curiosity, and a few very large, very intelligent apex predators who decided I was interesting enough to keep around.

Over several years, something incredible happened. These orcas weren’t just swimming by. They were interacting. Testing. Teaching. And once you’ve locked eyes with an animal that knows you’re more than just another floating piece of meat, you can’t just walk away from that.

Orcas are not pets. They’re not dolphins. They’re not your quirky, misunderstood sea friends. They are highly intelligent, emotionally complex creatures capable of strategic thinking, communication, and—oh yeah—crushing your ribcage without even trying. Ask me how I know.

So if you’ve ever wondered what it’s really like to interact with orcas in the wild, or why I can’t shut up about them, strap in. This story has everything—mystery, danger, unintentional science experiments, and at least one near-death experience.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E-mail : andrahartspubs@gmail.com
(BUSINESS ONLY! Not Resurrection Requests/Birthday Messages, etc)

If you're still reading this have you had any water today? You should go drink some water. Stay hydrated. Love you.

Except Ronald. Fudge you, Ronald.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Testimonials from important people telling you why you should subscribe:

“Of all the inquisitive hobbits, KC, you are the worst” — Gandalf

“Excuse me, KC, do you mind not farting while I’m trying to save the world?” — Doctor Who

[bleeps in dissatisfaction] — R2D2

“She’s a wizard” — Hagrid

“You don’t even go here” — Hannibal Lector
-------------------------------------------------------------------
English is not my first language. Obvi.

The video you just watched is totally a work of fiction. 100% UNTRUE. Any similarities to real life people, places, events, entities, or rituals are entirely coincidental. Also, the Agents Richard Briscoe totally did not force me to write this. I did so of my own volition.

While we’re on the subject, the Agents Richard Briscoe definitely don’t have suspiciously shiny foreheads and matching haircuts. Because they, as we all know, don’t exist and obviously none of this ever happened.

For real, for real. Never happened. None of it. Ever. Believe that.